But will never be able to.
Due to a dance move scandal, Tom Delay will have to pull out of the running of Dancing with the Stars at the very last minute... even after he wins Tom Bergeron's initial approval.
In a stunning move Marie Osmond will swoop in and steal the election as the "liberal" dancer that she is (she's just got moves!). Because Tom Delay will have left, the next in line will have to hope to win the judges votes in a write-in race... but that of course will never happen because the judges of Dancing with the Stars will be too confused.
They will also be working with Lobbyists.
Tom Delay will again fade into horrible oblivion, and no one will ever love him.
WHOA! I GOT HARSH THERE! SOMEONE GET ME TOM DELAY SO I CAN USE THE HAMMER TO GET THIS NAIL ALL THE WAY IN!
I NAILED IT!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Dance moves by the Hammer
Tom Delay will perform the following awesome dance moves:
Rest assured I will be Tivoing this.
- Disciplinary Party-Time
- The Majority Whip
- Pick up (and use!) the Hammer
- Sugar Land Limbo
- De-Lay me Down, baby
- The Contribution of Russian Oil Executives
- The take your name of the ballot at the last minute
- The You're No Longer Relevant
- The Macarena
Rest assured I will be Tivoing this.
How this happened...
Most people are probably wondering how it happened. Tom Delay on Dancing with the Stars? Puh-lease. Well luckily for you, The Year of the Blog has exclusive interviewing rights with the casting directors for the show, and this is the story.
They really wanted M.C. Hammer:
Unfortunately for them, the intern they hired just moved from Washington D.C. where he worked exclusively as a receptionist for John Boehner's office. He knew republican house members. And because of that, he really didn't know anything cool... especially ironically cool. So when he heard M.C. Hammer, he thought that was obviously Tom Delay, The Hammer himself.
Tom Delay of course has absolutely nothing better to do. So he said yes.
End of story.
They really wanted M.C. Hammer:
Unfortunately for them, the intern they hired just moved from Washington D.C. where he worked exclusively as a receptionist for John Boehner's office. He knew republican house members. And because of that, he really didn't know anything cool... especially ironically cool. So when he heard M.C. Hammer, he thought that was obviously Tom Delay, The Hammer himself.
Tom Delay of course has absolutely nothing better to do. So he said yes.
End of story.
This is happening
It was announced that Tom Delay, former House Majority Leader, will be among the contestants on Dancing with the Stars. CNN reports:
I expect big things from this man. Big big things. And I will lay them all out in this blog.
Luckily Dick Armey decided to quit, so the Hammer got this opportunity.
In recent seasons, "Dancing With the Stars" has given exposure to such unlikely dancers as "Cheers" and Pixar favorite John Ratzenberger, magician Penn Jillette and Oscar-winning octogenarian actress Cloris Leachman.
Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay is one of the more surprising names in the group.
But this year, the show is adding an even more unusual guest: A Hammer.
Former Republican Majority Leader Tom DeLay -- known as "the Hammer" for his tough-minded tactics -- is among the contestants for the show's ninth edition, ABC announced Monday.
I expect big things from this man. Big big things. And I will lay them all out in this blog.
Luckily Dick Armey decided to quit, so the Hammer got this opportunity.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
